A man who drank alot was told by his wife \u201cIf you ever come home drunk again, I\u2019m going to leave you\u201d. Regardless, that night he went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt. He told his friend, \u201cIf I go home like this my wife will leave me\u201d. His friend said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill\u201d. He goes home and his wife\u2019s angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving, but he says, <\/p>\n
\u201cNo, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill\u201d. His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money. \u201cThen why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there? \u201d.\u201cOh, the other is from the man who shat in my pants\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A man who drank alot was told by his wife \u201cIf you ever come home drunk again, I\u2019m going to leave you\u201d. Regardless, that night he went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt. He told his friend, \u201cIf I go home like this my wife will […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2723,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3853"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3854,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3853\/revisions\/3854"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2723"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}