A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it.
\nHe has no recollection of how he got there.<\/p>\n
While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it.
\nA doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: \u201cI have really bad news. You\u2019re very sick.<\/p>\n
After your collapse yesterday, we ordered several tests, and got the results back this morning.
\nI\u2019m afraid you have Avain flu, Ebola, and you\u2019re positive for HIV and hepatitis.\u201d
\nStunned, the man asks \u201cWell, what\u2019s next!? What are you going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doc replies: \u201cWell, for starters, we\u2019re putting you on a strict diet of only pizza.\u201d
\nThe patient asks: \u201cWill that really help me, doctor?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo\u201d, the doc responds.
\n\u201cBut it\u2019s all we can fit under the door<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: \u201cI have really bad news. You\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2724,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3686","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3686"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3686\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3687,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3686\/revisions\/3687"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2724"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3686"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3686"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3686"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}