{"id":3090,"date":"2024-10-11T12:14:15","date_gmt":"2024-10-11T11:14:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=3090"},"modified":"2024-10-11T12:14:15","modified_gmt":"2024-10-11T11:14:15","slug":"a-husband-went-to-the-police-station-to-file-a-missing-person-report-for-his-missing-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/?p=3090","title":{"rendered":"A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife…"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife…<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn’t come back yet!<\/div>\n
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Inspector: What is her height?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: I never checked, she’s five feet something…<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Inspector: Slim or healthy?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: Not slim, she can be healthy.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Inspector: Color of eyes?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: Never noticed.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Inspector: Color of hair?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: Changes according to season.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Inspector: What was she wearing?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: Not sure. It may have been a suit or maybe shorts.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Inspector: Was she driving?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: Yes.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Inspector: Tell me what kind of car she was driving?<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Husband: A black 2015 Corvette Z06, with supercharged 6.2 liter V8 engine generating 625 horse power teamed with an eight-speed track certified HD automatic transmission with paddle shifters and a removable carbon fiber roof pan!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife… Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn’t come back yet! Inspector: What is her height? Husband: I never checked, she’s five feet something… Inspector: Slim or healthy? Husband: Not slim, she can be healthy. Inspector: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3090"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3090\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3091,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3090\/revisions\/3091"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}