A woman in her 70s decided it was finally time to get married.<\/p>\n
She put an add out in the newspaper.<\/p>\n
\u201cHusband wanted. Must not beat me, must not walk all over me, must still be good in bed\u201d<\/p>\n
She got many applicants but after a few weeks she didn\u2019t find anybody suitable.<\/p>\n
She was about to give up, when she heard her doorbell ring.<\/p>\n
She opens the door to find a man with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I help you?\u201d She asks.<\/p>\n
The man smiles and says \u201cIts me, your new husband!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must be joking\u2026\u201d The woman laughs.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell think about it,\u201d he says. \u201cI have no arms so i cannot beat you.<\/p>\n
I have no legs so i cant walk all over you.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe woman\u2019s eyes narrow and she asks \u201cAre you still good in bed?<\/p>\n
\u201cThe man leans back in his chair and smiles.<\/p>\n
\u201cI rang the doorbell didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A woman in her 70s decided it was finally time to get married. She put an add out in the newspaper. \u201cHusband wanted. Must not beat me, must not walk all over me, must still be good in bed\u201d She got many applicants but after a few weeks she didn\u2019t find anybody suitable. She was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2720,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3028"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3028\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3029,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3028\/revisions\/3029"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/buzzfeednews.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}